A Forever Love: Love Language-Quality Time

May 21, 2020
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The Inspiration

On July 1, 2017 my first cousin married the love of her life. On July 30, 2017, less than a month since they had wed, he was tragically killed in a car accident on the way to work. The book I chose as the connection to their treasured relationship is The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. This blog celebrates their love story journey and the love language they shared, as well as the memories she cherishes.

Their Love Journey

Dee and Jeffrey met as neighbors while children. His family later moved away and they were estranged for years. It was not until they were adults that they reconnected. Their friendship grew. Eventually they began dating and soon fell in love. On May 20, 2015, Jeffrey proclaimed his love in a post titled, “My life ,my life, my life in the sunshine…” In June of that year, it was clear that they were in a lasting relationship not to be denied; they were sharing a forever love. As family and friends, some of us realized it through Facebook posts and pictures; while those who saw her daily saw it bloom in real time.

During the summer of 2016, Jeffrey proposed to Dee. I love her account of the day. She shares that part of the journey by sharing the following with us in August of 2018, two years after the proposal and a little over a year after he passed away.

“The joy memories bring…two years ago my ❤ proposed. He also took me to the cemetery to visit my grandmother and he asked her for her blessing. He said if you approve, show us a sign, he told her our 3 digit # which represents the day we connected and the day our story began. We drove to Nantasket beach straight from there and ordered some food, he looks at the receipt and said “Babe, your grandmother approves!!!”

As someone who believes in signs, I find her shared anecdote as very, romantic. But even if I did not believe in signs, I love her shared moments and would still find the romanticism in this special proposal.

On July 1, 2017 Dee and Jeffrey were wed.
Dee’s bouquet with a pink rose in honor of the grandmother mentioned above in the story about the proposal sign
Their ringed hands on honeymoon in Puerto Rico

The Book

I was first introduced to this book while on a double dinner date with some of our best friends, Brad and Cindy. We were talking about relationships and the magic (and sometimes lack of) of relationships standing the test of time. She mentioned the book of which at that time I was not familiar. On our way home, I had my husband stop at a Barnes and Nobles so that I could purchase the book. Since then I’ve purchased several others within the series.

The 5 Love Languages

In the book, Gary Chapman talks about the five love languages, noting that everyone has a dominant language that if “spoken,” “shown” and or demonstrated, enhances the relationship. As I followed Dee and Jeffrey’s relationship from 1,106.6 miles away it became clear to me that they shared the love of quality time.

Their Shared Dominant Love Language: Quality Time

From that day in 2015 when they rekindled their relationship, Dee and Jeffrey lived in the moment and prepared for the future–spending time together. All five love languages were present in their lives as a couple, but the most dominant–the primary language was definitely Quality Time. They enjoyed life and each other’s company whether at home, in social gatherings, or traveling on trips. They celebrated life together, enjoying the moment.

Dee and Jeffrey’s enchanted love was documented in their pictures, their words and their actions. At their wedding ceremony, during the reception and on their honeymoon, there forever love was celebrated.

On July 30, 2017, just 29 days after they were married, Jeffrey was involved in a fatal car accident on his way to work. Living without him has been difficult for my cousin, she continues to grieve but does the best she can to live in the memories. There life living together was cut short, but never their love.

A Feather from Heaven

In February 2018, Dee found a feather…Or maybe the feather found her. Either way it eased some of her grief as she recognized just as they experienced a sign in 2016, she was sent a sign from Jeffrey as he rests in Heaven.

I Celebrate Dee and Jeffrey’s Forever Love

I wasn’t able to attend their wedding and had been in the process of deciding what to send them for a gift, when I received word of losing Jeffrey. It was then that I decided that I would create something for her. It is then that I began “stalking social media” for evidence of their love. In December of that year, I sent her a scrapbook that I made her with a personal letter included. This month as a late Valentine’s day/early Anniversary gift, I created the following video using the video she sent me of her flipping through the book. After the video, you can also see some of her favorite pages and hear their song, You for Me (The Wedding Song) by Johnny Gill

The Video

Dee’s Favorite Pages

First Page in the sccrapbook
Bridal Party Layout – Left Side
Bridal Party Layout – Right Side
Wedding Day Layout
A layout from the reception
a wedding montage of faces
Honeymoon in Puerto Rico Scrapbook Layout
a honeymoon layout featuring Luquillo Beach, Puerto Rico
Wedding Ring Layout
Another Wedding Party Layout

Quality Time Love Language Romance Ideas

  1. Actively listen without interrupting
  2. Attend a move or play
  3. Commit to a weekly or monthly adventure
  4. Cook together
  5. Couple journal
  6. Create a bucket list of quality time activities
  7. Cuddle on the couch with a movie
  8. Dance together
  9. Dine at a new restaurant
  10. Engage in conversation
  11. Find what you enjoy doing together then do it regularly (i..e. gym, watching movies, wine tasting, visiting museums, walking on the beach, hiking, dining out)
  12. Focus, don’t multi-task
  13. Garden together
  14. Give your UNDIVIDED attention
  15. Go on a ride (car, bike,, trolley, scooter, moped, motorcycle) together
  16. Go on a spontaneous drive, a scenic drive or go sightseeing
  17. Go on a walk and talk
  18. Go on a thoughtful date
    1. Amusement Park
    2. Aquarium
    3. Arboretum
    4. Beach
    5. Botanical Garden
    6. Camping (in the yard, living room, campsite, lawn, porch, beach, etc.)
    7. Candlelight dinner
    8. Casino
    9. Concert
    10. Couple’s masage
    11. Cruise
    12. Fair
    13. Farmers Market
    14. Fishing
    15. Kayaking
    16. Lake
    17. Mountain
    18. Movie (at cinema, on lawn, porch, in yard, at beach, etc.)
    19. Museum
    20. National Park
    21. Parachuting
    22. Park
    23. Rappelling
    24. Resort
    25. Restaurant
    26. Rock Climbing
    27. Skating
    28. Sledding
    29. Star gazing
    30. Theater
    31. Tubing
    32. Whitewater rafting
    33. Zoo
  19. Go to bed at the same time
  20. Have quality conversation
  21. Hike together
  22. Ignore your phone when during 1:1 time
  23. Laugh together
  24. Listen to music together
  25. Maintain eye contact
  26. Make new memories together
  27. Maximize any time you have, even if it is only 10 minutes
  28. Meet for lunch
  29. Offer empathy/sympathy, not advice
  30. Participate in an activity with mutual friends
  31. Plan a romantic picnic–without phones
    • Beach/Lake Picnic
    • Garden Picnic
    • Park picnic
    • Mountain Picnic
    • Under the Stars
    • Vineyard Picnic
    • Yard Picnic
  32. Plan an international night
  33. Read a book together and discuss it
  34. Read to each other
  35. Run errands together
  36. Schedule a weekly date night
  37. Schedule game night
  38. Show an interest in (join in on) the hobbies of your significant other
  39. Start a project together
  40. Take a class together
  41. Take a family vacation
  42. Take a day/weekend trip
  43. Talk–no phones or social media
  44. Volunteer together
  45. Watch a game/movie/show with your significant other –no phones
  46. Work out together
  47. Write each other a poem/love letter/song and read/sing to each other
  48. Take a tour
  49. Watch the sunrise or sunset
  50. Go window shopping

What is your Primary Love Language

AS evident by this post, my cousins shared the same primary love language. All couples do not. Whether they do or do not is not important, what is important is that they can speak the language of the other…that they be multi-lingual. If you are interested in knowing your primary love language consider taking one of these quizzes/tests. You can also find others by doing a search for five love languages quiz or test.

Rest In Peace, Jeffrey your Forever Love will Never Die

Celebrations & Commemorations, Places to Go/Things to Do, Uncategorized